As detailed in my previous post, my brain is currently taking a holiday. Or wants to. Is there a difference? I don’t know. As such, today we’re bringing you a special new feature: Guest posts! Today’s guest is from Capt. Jill of Capt. Jill’s Journeys. When Jill contacted me asking if I’d be interested in her fare I eagerly agreed as the stew seemed like something straight out of Skyrim – just a few more ingredients! Hey, taste is important.
Similarly, the story of how this stew came to be seemed exactly like a scenario straight out of Skyrim (and I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the fisherman had taken a harpoon to the knee at some point). For the full story, why not check out Jill’s original post? Now, if only I could have a bowl delivered to my desk…
I admit it: I’ve been depressed. Hellishly so, you might say. As such, my efforts in the kitchen of late have been… less than stellar. Lackluster. Nonexistent. I haven’t baked anything at all in a month. Would you forgive me for chocolate? Well, how about chocolate chocolate chip? From scratch?
There we go; that’s the ticket.
The Assassin’s Creed series is one of my favorite games/series that I am incapable of playing. Top Ten material, probably. With its rich storylines and gameplay I could watch someone play it for days. Also, if I could lose about half my body weight and wear Assassin’s garb full time… Yeah. That’d be great.
Today’s the day. We’ve all been waiting for what seems like forever. Star Wars: Episode VII is finally in theaters! Admittedly, today I woke up on the dark side of the bed after very little sleep and the realization sinking in that I have to scale back on my geeky recipes. Luckily, I soon discovered that I could Awaken the Force and my day with a generous stack of Banana Chocolate Death Star Waffles. They’re quick, they’re easy, they’re a real crowd-pleaser, AND they’re made from scratch! Say what?
Just like that, I was back in celebration mode. New Star Wars, themed waffles, and my first blogging anniversary? Suddenly I’m bursting with energy and enthusiasm! Or is that the banana slices and chocolate chips?
Does it feel like the holidays yet? With maybe three days of temperatures in the 30’s since Thanksgiving, I’m feeling a big NO. You know what does make me feel like celebrating? Two words: Twisted Metal. Nononono, listen. I’m serious. How can you listen to this track from the North Pole level in Twisted Metal 3 and not get into the spirit?
Rob Zombie and Jingle Bells. Come on. Could there be anything more magical? Twisted Metal is one of my first and favorite video games. Today we’ll be channeling Sweet Tooth with a cotton candy fudge recipe that’s… well… killer. Homing missiles not included.
First: I’m dreadfully sorry about last week. Unfortunately I was unable to publish a new recipe due to some pretty wicked gastrointestinal issues. On a related note, who the actual fuck washes their dishes with straight bleach? I ask you.
I have a special treat for you this week: Chocolate custard dotted with cherries from the Hunger Games. Though only mentioned in passing, this dessert sounded so good it demanded to be made. That, and do you have any idea how much lamb costs?! I was not about to make the lamb-and-plum stew. We’ll talk about that when I get a raise or three. Good? Good.
As of now I’m making two batches of each recipe weekly; one for the blog and house, and one for a friend to take to work. Now that’s what I call job security! Stay tuned at the end of the post for the actual test message conversation about just how well the custard was received.
November’s Featured Recipe is here at last! You voted; I experimented in the kitchen. I’m proud to say that with a little patience and perseverance we were able to create something really unique! This week’s recipe: Bombchu Lemon Bars from Legend of Zelda! Yes, those little explosive mouse-like thingies. Are they not adorable?
This recipe comes in three parts: a buttery, slightly sweet shortbread, creamy and sour lemon curd, and complementing ABC (apple, blueberry, cinnamon) fruit leather. All from scratch, all in less than 24 hours. Cut me a little slack, fruit leather takes forever to dehydrate!
Look at the tails. LOOK AT THEM. Are you ready for this? Too late, let’s go.
It’s the most magical time of the year again! No, not bloody Christmas– Blizzcon! For Blizzard Entertainment fans around the world, it’s our gentle reminder that we’re not allowed to have money… and you know what? That’s okay. It really is. I’ll be pre-purchasing Legion any day now. Seriously, I am excited for all the things. ALL. THE. THINGS. Don’t ask me why, but I’m only able to play games produced by Blizzard relatively well. Don’t even get me started on my Spirit Beast collection. If you can’t tell, I love Blizzard. Like, A.LOT. Anyway.
For a good portion of the US, temps are starting to fall and leaves are changing color. Fall is here which means comfort food time.So really, it was a wonderful convenience that my work is having a chili cook-off tomorrow. What did I decide to make? Well…
Incidentally, WoW’s Dragonbreath Chili recipe calls for a 200 cooking skill to make and the skill cap is currently 700. That’s about how difficult this is to make IRL- 200/700. And really, that’s because of the peppers. Those damn peppers… I don’t want to talk about it. Nope. This is not your momma’s chili. This is not your daddy’s chili. There are no beans in this chili, because beans have no business in chili.
Ready? Leeeeeeeeeeeroyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…… JEEEEENKINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (For the uninitiated, educate yourself:)
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know Fallout 4 is coming out next week. Of course that means I’m making a special treat! Are you prepared to set out for the wastelands and lay waste to zombies and irradiated flora and fauna? If your answer is not yes, you’re lying. But wait! Don’t go without a Mississippi Quantum Pie! Loosely based on a Mississippi mud pie, this recipe is decked out in three layers of delicious chocolate, topped off with a healthy dose of Nuka Cola Quantum-blue frosting and bottle cap candy.
Oh, did I mention the chocolate cake layer is Coca Cola cake? Boom.
Even better, I’ll be whipping up a second batch to share at the midnight launch at the Bridgewater Falls GameStop in Hamilton, Ohio. If you haven’t preordered your copy yet, well, you know which store to choose! Come out and see me; I promise I’m even more socially awkward in person. There should be a post up early next week for the event, along with some special behind-the-scenes pictures. Ready? Let’s go.
So it has finally come down to this: Halloween Week. The final Nightmare Before Christmas tea party recipe. Today I present you with the king of all pies: Pumpkin King Pumpkin Pie! Did you think you would make it out of here without encountering pumpkin spice?! This recipe combines the ‘tried and true’ (my grandmother’s spicy pumpkin pie filling recipe) with the ‘fresh and innovative’ (a buttery, flaky pie crust recipe developed by a friend in culinary school). I must confess: This is the best pumpkin pie I have ever tasted. I do not say such things lightly. A couple of talking points before you read about me cursing at baking supplies:
First order of business: Have you voted for November’s Featured Recipe yet? You are eligible to vote once every 7 days and the poll will be running until November 1st at dawn. Make your vote count now.
Second order of business: This pie crust recipe was gifted to me by a good friend of mine, Luna. She’s absolutely fantastic and deserves full credit for getting me through this with minimal issues. She is also thus far the only person who will give me shit for weird culinary stuff I do and gives great feedback. Stay tuned for a quick interview with her. I promise it’s interesting and funny and she totally fits in here.
What could be more iconic than scones and tea at a tea party? How about my recipe for Sally’s Blueberry Scones? These scones are delicious with bursts of intense blueberry flavor and a sweet-tart lemon glaze that just won’t quit. The best part? Break one of these scones apart and take a look at that drop-dead gorgeous blue crumb. It’s irresistible. I confess, I ate one scone before I even started on the stitching, burning my tongue on the hot blueberry juices in the process. I had two more scones this morning.
Number of regrets: 0
This is your new go-to scone recipe. End of discussion. Hell, I’m making a second batch and destroying my kitchen later this afternoon. They’re seriously the easiest thing in the world and require zero decorating skill. Ready? Let’s go.