Captain America Fruit Pizza

Difficulty1

Ah, Avengers. Yes, I’m aware I’m one week late into the hype. I just had my heart set on making that meatloaf, y’know? Also, I was seeing Avengers on my everything feed like crazy, particularly pizza versions of Captain America’s shield. Considering that my family owns a pizzeria that would have been all too easy. Like, total cop out easy. Have you ever had a fruit pizza before. I’m not talking about pineapple on your everyday, run-of-the-mill Hawaiian pizza. I’m talking about on a full on dessert style fruit pizza. No? Well, you’ve been missing out.

Until today. Today I will change your life.

This is how you’ll get your kids to eat fruit. It’s fast, easy to put together, and once you get started you’ll realize that the possibilities are endless. Use kiwi and blueberries for the Hulk. Strawberries and mango or peach for Iron Man. You see where I’m going with this. As usual, I went all out and made a 16″ pizza. With this suggestion, you could easily make multiple smaller pizzas with different variations. A trio of 10″ fruit pies? I’m just saying…

Ready? Let’s go.

Gamers, grab your mats:

  • premade pizza crust – I used a 16″ crust from my family’s pizzeria. The recipe is one of those, “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you” things.
  • cinnamon sugar – if you don’t have some already premade you can mix up a bit of cinnamon and sugar up in a clean shot glass. You’ll want about half a shotglass-ful. Is that a measurement? It is now.
  • 1- 8 ounce package of plain cream cheese
  • 1 standard size container of Cool Whip
  • small package of blueberries
  • approx. two pounds of strawberries.
  • 1 large egg
  • splash of water

07/02/15 UPDATE: Optional- For a more polished look, sprinkle white chocolate curls over the white ‘sauce’.

There is nothing NOT wonderful about this.
There is nothing NOT wonderful about this.

Preheat your oven to about 375 degrees F.

Place a piece of parchment paper over a pizza pan or baking sheet and transfer your premade crust to the pan/sheet. While you’re waiting on the oven, break a large egg into a small cup and add a splash of water. Mix this up well to make your egg wash. Brush the egg wash evenly over your crust. This will help your crust get a nice and even golden brown color.

A rubberized basting brush works fine.
A rubberized basting brush works fine.

Sprinkle your cinnamon sugar over your crust. I used about half a shot glass-ful; you may want to use a bit more depending on your tastes.The entire crust should get at least a light coating.

Getting all classy up in here. Sheesh.
Getting all classy up in here. Sheesh.

Prick your crust a few times in various places with a fork or knife to prevent the crust from bubbling up strangely. (Guess who forgot.) Bake at 375 degrees F for about 10-15 minutes or until the crust is cooked through and is a light golden brown. This is not an exact science.

Prepare your ‘sauce’: In a medium bowl, beat 8 ounces of cream cheese with half of your Cool Whip with an electric hand mixer on medium until relatively smooth.

Le part 1.
Le part 1.

Add the other half of your Cool Whip and beat again until thoroughly combined and smooth. I find that the sauce comes together easier when adding the Cool Whip in stages. Set aside.

Shamelessly lick the beaters clean.
Shamelessly lick the beaters clean.

Rinse all of your berries. Slice the tops off all of your strawberries.

Resist. The. Urge.
Resist. The. Urge.
My kitchen helper. Do you see what I have to deal with?!
My kitchen helper. Do you see what I have to deal with?!

Thinly slice all of your strawberries. I sliced mine into 5-6 pieces on average. See below for your ideal berry:

GLORIOUS!!
GLORIOUS!!

Your pizza crust will probably be done around halfway into this process. Remove from oven, transfer to cardboard circle or serving dish and allow to cool. Once cool, it’s time for assembly.

IMAG0738
As you can see, there were tumors. These can actually be hidden fairly easily under the sauce.

Spread your white ‘sauce’ over the pizza crust. Stretch the sauce out as close to the edges as possible. I was able to use all of my sauce for my 16″ crust. It’s nice when things work out, isn’t it?

See? You'd practically never know it came out so deformed.
See? You’d practically never know it came out so deformed.

Add a row of strawberry slivers around the outside edge.

See those end pieces? Don't use them for the pie.They are delicious but awkward.
See those end pieces? Don’t use them for the pie.They are delicious but awkward.

Fill in any gaps by adding another staggered layer over the berry ring.

Place a berry, eat a berry. Place a berry, eat a berry. Place a berry...
Place a berry, eat a berry. Place a berry, eat a berry. Place a berry…

Rinse and repeat for the second ring of red (don’t forget to leave a gap of white!).

IMAG0743
Luckily I had three pounds on hand, between me and my kitchen helper sneaking berries.

Fill in the center area with blueberries, leaving a white ‘star’ in the middle. You will probably use all of your blueberries for this.

Try outlining the star, then filling in.
Try outlining the star, then filling in.

Yes, it’s really that easy. This pizza is best when eaten within two days for optimal freshness. Store in a pizza box in the fridge (or at least cover with parchment paper or foil) if you absolutely cannot eat it in one session. This is best cut into pie slices with a circular pizza cutter rather than squares.

From the top.
From the top.
And from the side. This pizza has the good grace to look amazing from all angles.
And from the side. This pizza has the good grace to look amazing from all angles.

It’s fruit, but dessert! With summer coming up, this will be the perfect treat to bring to a party as it is cool, light, and refreshing. Catch you next week!

Cheers,

Leisel

Coming Up Next: Tetris Rice Krispies. It’s one of those Because I Can kind of things. Also, it’s cheap. I’m kinda broke right now. >_>

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5 thoughts on “Captain America Fruit Pizza”

    1. Haha, thanks for that. I have this tremendous ego about my fruit pizzas, thinking they’re the Stuff of Legend. It’s definitely worthwhile to put together as a snack for a gathering… or as a really big day-long breakfast.

      Like

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